Compartment Chats
by flying-cars
Summary: It was an odd day when one finds the famous James Potter sitting alone on the Hogwarts Express. That was exactly what Lily did, and she should have known as she slid open the door curiously that her day wasn't going to be normal. "You look like hell, James."


It was an odd day when one finds the famous James Potter sitting alone on the Hogwarts Express. That was exactly what Lily did, and she should have known as she slid open the door curiously that her day wasn't going to be normal.

"You look like hell, James."

What a greeting. Then again, Lily was never really that good at subtlety. She stepped inside the compartment, slid the door closed behind her, and sat beside James in a show of civility.

He looked at her briefly, chuckled once, and returned his gaze to the window. "I guess so," he murmured.  
"Do you want to talk about it?" Lily asked tentatively, because she wasn't sure if she wanted to know what 'it' was, but her fret was soothed when James shook his head. He slouched into the back of the seat, his long legs reaching to the opposite seat and resting there comfortably.  
"This war is getting real, Evans," he sighed, closing his eyes. "Too real for comfort."

Lily could read between the lines, for she wasn't a daft girl, but she didn't know what to say. Perhaps, if there was someone in their vicinity, she could have made a witty response and tossed her hair. Since there wasn't an audience, and Lily had no words of comfort to offer (for how could she relate?) she simply reached out and took hold of his hand in a whim of bravery.

And James looked grateful, if nothing else, for the contact.

He squeezed her hand lightly before absentmindedly running his thumb over hers. "Tell me about your holidays," James murmured eventually.  
"Nothing overly exciting happened," Lily admitted. "Petunia was quite rude as normal, but you know how that is…"  
"I don't, actually," James said dryly. The corners of his eyes crinkled slightly in his amusement.  
"Oh. Well, I suppose you wouldn't really understand…" Lily trailed off, wondering if she hurt his feelings, but he seemed unperturbed by her bluntness, merely accepting that she was right. "Petunia and I… well, we used to be best friends, but now we're not. I think she hates me because of what I am."  
"Who," James corrected.  
"What?"  
"Who you are, not what you are. You are a person, Lily, and being magical is part of that."

Lily smiled softly, but didn't look at James. She merely plundered on with her life story, prattling on about the games they used to play and skimming over her history with Severus. On more than one occasion she wondered if James was bored, but he seemed so curious about everything, so interested in what she said, that Lily felt empowered and continued to talk. After a while, James knew more about her home situation – a very closely guarded secret of Lily's – than her friends did.

After Lily finished talking, James got up to pull the shade down over the door window. He looked at her apologetically.  
"I'm sorry, but I've just realised that I like your company and don't want anyone to interrupt us," he smiled. Lily laughed.  
"Where _are_ your fellow troublemakers?" she asked lightly. James looked guilty as he shuffled back to his seat.  
"Somewhere else on the train," he mumbled. Lily nudged him, urging him to continue. He sighed. "I told them I was going to the bathroom about an hour ago," James admitted. "Hopefully they just think I have really bad bowel movements or something."  
"Is that likely?"  
"Nah, not really."

The two lapsed into a friendly silence, James' gaze returning to the window, and Lily's sliding down to their intertwined hands. Strangely enough, her hand had just slid back into his once he sat down again, and it felt fine. No awkwardness.

"So are you going to tell me why you seem so sad today?" Lily asked at last, having decided that if James could listen to her boring life, then the least she could do is listen to his problems. James sighed a deep breath.  
"I just lost an uncle a few days ago, no big deal," he muttered.  
"Did he mean a lot to you?" Lily asked. James let out a single laugh of mirth.  
"That's the thing, Evans. He didn't, I barely knew him. He married into the family a few years ago and I don't even know where he came from. It's pathetic, isn't it? How his death is making me upset?"  
Lily frowned and shook her head. "Of course not. Death… well, it makes people feel things, doesn't it? And you're right, death makes the upcoming war seem so much closer than it was before, because the event was close to you, and you were indirectly affected by it, and that matters. Your feelings are valid, even if you think they aren't."

James turned to look Lily directly in the eye. "There are people out there who have lost far more than me," he said bluntly. "Sirius, even…"  
Lily clasped his hand with both of hers. "That doesn't make your feelings any less real," she whispered.

James smiled, but it didn't reach his eyes. It was an expression that Lily hadn't seen on his face before, and it looked odd. She just wanted that predictable, mischievous smile back.

"Now, come on, I think it's time to send you back to your friends," Lily said cheerfully. James raised a brow. "You've been on that toilet for far too long, Potter."  
Reluctantly, James allowed Lily to pull him off the seat and tug him out of the carriage. As she led the way down the narrow walkway, she called over her shoulder, "I can practically hear the catcalls already!"

James snickered, mentally agreeing with her.

Almost at the opposite end of the train, Lily finally found the marauder's compartment. She stood to one side and gestured for James to go in.

"Your friends await," she said playfully. James rolled his eyes and, once more, reached for her hand.  
"Thank you," he said earnestly. "I feel guilty saying this, but I actually feel slightly better. I know I should be sad, but…"  
"You don't have to feel anything," Lily said simply, squeezing his fingers. "Now go inside and deal with your grief another day. Your friends are looking suspicious!"  
They were indeed, leaning in close to one another to talk quietly, casting furtive looks in their direction. James smirked and slid open the door.

"Look who I found!" he announced, tugging Lily inside the compartment and slamming the door shut behind him, blocking off her escape.

Sirius, predictably, made the first innuendo – Remus simply slid over and made room for the two newcomers on the seat. They sat, hands firmly not touching at all.

Lily didn't find her friends the entire train trip, remaining with the marauders until night fell and the train finally stopped moving. Sirius seemed to enjoy her company, thriving on the witty comebacks she gave and the new material she offered. It was his acceptance of her that made Lily realise, from the top of her head to the tips of her toes, that this was what life was like; unpredictable, shocking, and more than a little welcoming.


End file.
